Empathy

Empathy. Its something people have spoken about often enough, especially at the d.school. Hmm. So where do I exist? I was unsure, and I still am. Sometimes I connect with people, but I am still unsure if I empathize with them completely; do I feel their pain, their joys, their worries, their anxieties?

PHI and HIPPA prohibit me from sharing any information on the patients I meet and any procedures I observe, so I won't get into any details. But two cases in the past two weeks left a deep impact one me. One was someone really sick and very young girl (I call her Snow White, like sleeping beauty) who had a procedure done on her in the ICU; the other one was an old old woman (I call her San Francisco, for her fantastic stories from the city) who I met in the out-patient clinic and was completely blown away by her effervescence and beauty.

I was extremely uncomfortable with Snow White, afraid that something might just go wrong, she looked so unwell and frail. I really wanted to help, and knew that I possibly couldn't. I wonder if prayers help you connect with people (Julian, are you listening?)! I have tried this earlier as well (connecting with people through my thoughts), and have never been so sure about its efficacy. Maybe it works. Maybe.

Things were just the opposite with San Francisco, she was so full of joy and energy. I laughed when she did, smiled when she did. It was almost as if I was mirroring her expressions, without really being actually aware of it. It was fantastic to be with her, she made me happy as well.

I have been told often that women are way better than men with empathy. I wish there was a woman with me in these settings, and we could have discussed this later on. I wanted another opinion.

But I am still unsure if I empathized with them, I did connect with them both though. Sure.
Food for thought.

Love Story in Jungle follows us in the mess!

There are two stories I would like to recount before they fade into oblivion...

Story I - Meneka & me

Yesterday was the first day in mess and I had dinner with Bhavin and Dang (Nidhi Dang and not Dr. Dang). And surprise, surprise...she comes and sits with us (not Dang who is already there but Snowhite) and Bhavin's heart skips a beat (many beats actually, but nevertheless) and my story became more interesting (was it because of the Meneka-Meghna confusion). The only one who appeared to be happy and interested in my story was Dang, or at least she appeared to be! Bhavin was of course already visibly palpitating with the distraction but trying to show that all was well with him!

So this is how the first story goes. Meneka came down from heavens and seduces Vishwamitri and as result of this sin (baby born to an unmarried woman) our heroine Shakuntala is born. At this crucial juncture in the narrative Dang is confused between Meneka (Indra's muse) and Meghna (who was eating dinner with us), and it took some effort to iron out our differences. By this time Bhavin had also visibly become uncomfortable because we were screaming 'Meneka' and 'Meghna' rather openly!

Anyway, Shakuntala likes to go to the jungle to collect berries and feed her baby goat and on one such excursion she meets King Dushyant (who was there to kill an antelope, but kills a rishimuni instead as there were no antelopes and obviously gets cursed). They (not the dead rishimuni and King Dushyant) fall in love and she gets pregnant (I guess it runs in the family and also society at that time used to be much more open in responding to such acts). However, due to the curse our King forgets her and goes back to his harem.

Shakuntala has a ring which belongs to King Dushyant and she feeds it to a hungry fish (rohu actually) and with that fishes out the last hope of our King ever recognizing her (apparently the ring was the sole connection between them, sex notwithstanding). She gives birth to Bharath who counts the teeth of a live lion and gives our country its ancient name. He (Bharath, not the dead rishimuni) also loves fishing and kills a big river shark (who had eaten a small baby shark who in turn had eaten an even smaller rohu). And when mama Shakuntala opens it up for cooking she finds the now infamous ring. She takes the ring and Bharath and off she goes to meet our King Dushyant.

The harem is demolished and a new Queen's palace is constructed. Defying family tradition, Shakuntala even marries the King (it seems Meneka goes back to the heavens to improve her dancing skills). Of course, they live happily ever after (maybe) till Shakuntala is reborn in 1980s and comes to study in an (in)famous college in Ahmedabad. The rest of the story shall follow in later posts...

We finished our dinner and still waited for the new age Shakuntala, but she never came. Out of despair we shifted our attention to mundane things like the Hindi word for floating/ gliding in air! The night passed on peacefully thereafter...