I didn't hear you as I sat with my back against the painted walls of the
shrine. The men played their music, different pitches intermixing,
different voices creating absolute, sublime magic, their music divine. I remained numb to it
all, numb to your presence, even when you perhaps called out to me
constantly, asking for my love, asking for life.
The words filled my ears, echoed in my soul, yet I remained
indifferent. I had to make a choice that day and I didn't know how. I
always believed in Him, but my faith was already wavering. The soothing
words, the smiling faces, the beautiful red roses strewn all around,
they all spoke to me, all asked me to listen to your calls; I remained
deaf, didn't hear anything. The void within was shallow, and it didn't
allow me to hear anything, to feel anything.
I walked around looking for a sign, looking for your guidance,
looking for an answer. It was all around me to see, but I remained
blind, never saw anything. I saw a young woman playing with her young
kids, yet I missed out on their smiles, and their laughter. I saw grown
ups with their old parents, yet I missed out on the love between them. I
looked past them all, and I made my choice.
Hours later as I woke up alone in the cold hospital room, I felt an acute
emptiness within. It was your absence that made me realise how
your presence had become inseparable from my existence. As tears
flooded out, I was blinded by your thoughts, and my love for you.
You would have been four today, To you my baby, Happy Birthday!
The glitter on string caught the slow glow coming from the overhung
lamp; with all the darkness around, it looked like suspended light,
floating alone, along with the constant sound from ustad's sarangi. I was spellbound once again, the slow and wistful raaga today
was perhaps just a preface to the more tragic set of events that were to unfold later in the night; for now it just bought me closer to
tears, tears of melancholic indulgence. I looked into ustad's
eyes and found them brimming with the salty water as well,
always on the edge, the tears never quite managing to fall. Even as the light
outside continued dimming, the music played on, my heart kept skipping a
beat. The ebbing light made it easier for me to let go, to free my
tears, to let them flow, to let them wet my face, wet my soul.
Just as I was a slave to his music and his soul, so was the ustad to me, the man in love with his music for years. Ustad wouldn't
stop playing the music, unless I asked him to. When he was so deep
within his music, there was no coming back to the real world for him,
unless called back forcibly. And for that the music had to be stopped
abruptly. As I sat there looking at his face, slowing eaten up by the
darkness around, I didn't know what to do next. It was so beautiful and
serene, and I didn't want to disturb it, and the music played so
beautifully, I could barely breathe. I was bound in my own web, and
though I knew I had to do something fast, my heart and my body refused
to listen.
The music went on, I could now hear ustad's little boy on the
table as well. Opening my arms wide, I let it all soak in. Permanently. The ruins of Roshanbaug were awake again tonight, despite the
near complete darkness. Somewhere I knew, this couldn't go on, not for
long; but I didn't move, not as yet. I had to make a choice I possibly couldn't, and finally didn't.
I never quite realized when the ustad stopped playing the sarangi,
and my mind had completely taken over and replaced his music with my own
imagination. In the frenzy that followed, I cried and screamed and
pulled my hair our. I confessed my love to him, made promises I knew can
never be kept. But he never stopped, not even once and played on, in my
mind, for my heart. Forever...
As I caressed his face, wiped his tears and closed his tired eyes, I finally let go
of him. It had taken me a lifetime to come so close to him, only to
leave him so far behind.
I would like the above story dedicated to Ustad Sultan Khan
who passed away yesterday (27.11.2011). His Sarangi was a big influence
on me, not just for this small post, but also for my love for the
instrument. Do explore it, if you haven't done it already...
Somehow these words never fail to inspire me, especially when life seems low and hopeless...
Tu shaheen hai, Tu shaheen hai, Tu shaheen hai,
Tu shaheen hai, Tu shaheen hai Parvaz hai kam tera kam tera,
Tere samne Aasman aur bhi hai...
Tu shaheen hai Basera kar Paharon ki chatano par.
Tu shaheen hai tu Shaheen hai, tu shaheen hai...
Shaheen: The roots are derived from Persian ancestry, a highly ancient name meaning "Falcon". Some would say Shaheen also means "God Of All Falcons" or just "God" at times, it really depends on the use.
Perfection is not just about control, its also about letting go...
Image source - www.filmofila.com
There is rarely a movie which completely blows you away, or lets say sweeps you off your feet. Black Swan both and much more, with an elegance which is sheer poetry.
Oh boy! what a ride it was watching the movie. It has a constant beat right from the beginning, weirdly your own body beat synchronizes with it and moves along as the movie progresses.
The real and the unreal/ surreal interplay throughout the movie, often with devastating consequences, and needless to say those are the parts which have the maximum impact. And mind you, these scenes have such audacious intensity that they also scare you to the core. I was often waiting for some such scenes to actually end, so that I could breathe easy. They are subtle, understated yet make your pulse run.
Natalie Portman is brilliant as Nina, often changing her form with the mood of the movie. It comes as no surprise that she has been winning every major laurel in the best actress category. Mila Kunis as Lily (Nina's part companion, part competitor) is brilliant too, you really do not know what to expect from her and that often drives the movie. Vincent Cassel who plays Thomas (the director of the play Black Swan in the movie) is good too, and gets to say possibly one of the best lines in the movie...Perfection is not just about control, its also about letting go...
Go watch the movie if its running at a theater near you, or just rent a DVD and see it on small screen. Either way, it would be an experience to remember.
Martinho da Vila is a well-known Brazilian Samba artist. Came across his music purely by chance and thought of sharing one of his songs here. It belongs to the Saudade genre.
Saudade is a Portuguese and Galician word difficult to translate adequately, which describes a deep emotional state of nostalgic longing for something or someone that one was fond of and which is lost. It often carries a fatalist tone and a repressed knowledge that the object of longing might really never return. (ref. Wikipedia)
Explore his music as well as his genre of music, both have some phenomenal compositions.
This posts is more like an extension of the previous post, exploring the genre of music. It can have many names for the style of music - folk, fusion and so on, but in essence it belongs to the Jugni style of narrative. Jugni literally means a female firefly, the male being the more commonly known Jugnu. These songs generally cover the journey of a Jugni who visits different places and makes different observations, some of these are political, some funny, some satrical, sometimes even with sexual connotations.
The style developed in the region of Punjab, now partly in India and partly in Pakistan. The style continued its popularity in Pakistan with artists like Nusrat Fateh Ali Khan, Arif Lohar and his father Alam Lohar, often using the Jugni methaphor in their songs. The credit for the revival of the Jugni songs in the mainstream popular music scene in India goes to Rabbi, who sang a very hard-hitting Jugni song in his very first album.
The form is very expressive, but the often used Khadi Punjabi makes it sometimes difficult to understand. The form remains popular still, amongst the Punjabis as well as the non-Punjabis, Hindus as well as the Muslims.
Cannot resist putting this on my blog! Something exceptional and not to be missed!
This is presented by Coke Studio, a Pakistan based television series. The program focuses on a fusion of the diverse musical influences in Pakistan, including eastern classical, folk, and contemporary popular music.
Within this dynamic musical environment, Coke Studio has emerged as a musical fusion platform of exciting elements and influences, ranging from traditional eastern, modern western and regionally inspired music coming together to form a distinctive Pakistani sound.
Another sensational discovery here is Meesha Shafi (Meera Rahman). She holds a degree in art from the prestigious National College of Arts and also models. Indeed, her multifaceted personality and versatility add to her image. Shafi is currently the lead vocalist for the percussion-based fusion band Overload, where she is equally at ease setting her powerhouse vocals to Urdu, English and Punjabi poetry and prose.
Not to mention, the song has become a rage in my office as well, especially with Manoj, Vikram and me. We enjoy not just listening to the beautiful music, but also the video. Superb production work by Coke Studio.
This is in continuation of my previous post on the oneness of God. This isn't exactly my forte so am using religious texts, references from all over to compose these posts.
This is about Jhulelal, the reverend Sindhi God from the Sindhu (Indus). His single most important contribution to the Hindus of Sindh was to let them be Hindus under a tyrant Muslim ruler bent upon converting them to Islam. Also known as Uderolal, he was born out of a prophecy by the Water god. Interestingly, in the pre-partition days of Sindh (and often even now), it was not uncommon for Muslims to pay homage to Hindu Gods and vice-versa. Jhulelal was foremost amongst these Gods, he is claimed by both the sects - as God himself by the Hindus and a Pir by the Muslims. The more common name for the Muslims is Zinda Pir.
An exceptionally beautiful example of this is the song 'dama dam mast kalandar'. You never really know if its a tribute to a Hindu God or a Muslim. God becomes one here for everyone. Nusrat Fateh Ali Khan sang it beautifully, and so did Runa Laila from the then East Pakistan. Here is a version by Abeeda Parveen.
Researching for just these few lines here, made me feel so low about the Sindhi Hindus who were forced to vacate their land in the modern day Pakistan. The exodus was more peaceful than Punjab, but involved a huge displacement of population. I wonder if its the right time to ponder over this, but the man-made boundaries divided people who had learnt to live together in harmony and even believe in the same God. Half the Sindhis are away from what made them Sindhis, Sindh and Sindhu. But life goes on. We survive.
p.s. this post is derived from a various sources, there might be some errors, would love to know about them, if any.
Came across this recently...meaningful in many ways for so many of us...
I'm just the pieces of the man I used to be
Too many bitter tears are raining down on me
I'm far away from home
And I've been facing this alone
For much too long
I feel like no-one ever told the truth to me
About growing up and what a struggle it would be
In my tangled state of mind
I've been looking back to find
Where I went wrong
Too much love will kill you
If you can't make up your mind
Torn between the lover
And the love you leave behind
You're headed for disaster
'cos you never read the signs
Too much love will kill you
Every time
I'm just the shadow of the man I used to be
And it seems like there's no way out of this for me
I used to bring you sunshine
Now all I ever do is bring you down
How would it be if you were standing in my shoes
Can't you see that it's impossible to choose
No there's no making sense of it
Every way I go I'm bound to lose
Too much love will kill you
Just as sure as none at all
It'll drain the power that's in you
Make you plead and scream and crawl
And the pain will make you crazy
You're the victim of your crime
Too much love will kill you
Every time
Too much love will kill you
It'll make your life a lie
Yes, too much love will kill you
And you won't understand why
You'd give your life, you'd sell your soul
But here it comes again
Too much love will kill you
In the end...
In the end.
I have a heart of a quwwal. I love quwwalis, especially the old ones and the Pakistani ones (I am anti-national too when it comes to Pakistani music). The one below has been my personal favourite for a long long time. I remember looking for this desperately online, way back in Bangalore and I have retained it since then (everything else that I downloaded then is lost).
The words are beautiful, and touch you every time you hear them. It is also surprisingly secular; there is talk of Radha-Krishna-Meera (unusual for quwalli form of music), along with Laila-Majnu (which is usual). Allah and Koran are ishq, Gautam's and Issiah's wishes are also ishq, .ts ishq which makes an idol into a God. And its only ishq which can make a God out of a man.
The song has Urdu, Punjabi and Hindi as main languages.
The video below is from the movie - Barsaat Ki Raat with Bharath Bhushan and Madhubala in the main lead (she also appears towards the last half of the quwwali). She is drawn by the voice of her beloved on the radio and goes to him in the end; the words follow beautifully the movements as well as the emotions of the two lovers. Also shown withering in the agony of love is Shyama (another very popular star from the 60s). A must watch for all those who love the old B/W classics.
Na To Caarvaan Ki Talaash Hai, Na To Humsafar Ki Talaash Hai
Mere Shauq-E-Khaana Kharaab Ko, Teri Rehguzar Ki Talaash Hai
Mere Naamuraad Junoon Ka Hai Ilaaj Koi To Maut Hai
Jo Dava Ke Naam Pe Zehar De Usi Chaaraagar Ki Talaash Hai
Tera Ishq Hai Meri Aarzoo, Tera Ishq Hai Meri Aabroo
Dil Ishq Jism Ishq Hai Aur Jaan Ishq Hai
Imaan Ki Jo Poochho To Imaan Ishq Hai
Tera Ishq Hai Meri Aarzoo, Tera Ishq Hai Meri Aabroo,
Tera Ishq Maein Kaise Chhod Doon, Meri Umra Bhar Ki Talaash Hai
Jaansoz Ki Haalat Ko Jaansoz Hi Samjhega
Maein Shamaa Se Kehta Hoon Mehfil Se Nahin Kehta Kyonki
Ye Ishq Ishq Hai Ishq Ishq, Ye Ishq Ishq Hai Ishq Ishq
Sahar Tak Sabka Hai Anjaam Jal Kar Khaak Ho Jaana,
Bhari Mehfil Mein Koi Shammaa Ya Parvaana Ho Jaye Kyonki
Ye Ishq Ishq Hai Ishq Ishq, Ye Ishq Ishq Hai Ishq Ishq
Vehshat-E-Dil Rasm-O-Deedaar Se Roki Na Gayi
Kisi Khanjar, Kisi Talvaar Se Roki Na Gayi
Ishq Majnu Ki Vo Aavaz Hai Jiske Aage
Koi Laila Kisi Deewaar Se Roki Na Gayi, Kyonki
Ye Ishq Ishq Hai Ishq Ishq, Ye Ishq Ishq Hai Ishq Ishq
Vo Hanske Agar Maangen To Hum Jaan Bhi Deden,
Haan....
Ye Jaan To Kya Cheez Hai Imaan Bhi Deden Kyonki
Ye Ishq Ishq Hai Ishq Ishq, Ye Ishq Ishq Hai Ishq Ishq
Naaz-O-Andaaz Se Kehte Hain Ki Jeena Hoga,
Zehar Bhi Dete Hain To Kehte Hain Ki Peena Hoga
Jab Maein Peeta Hoon To Kehten Hai Ki Marta Bhi Nahin,
Jab Maein Marta Hoon To Kehte Hain Ki Jeena Hoga
Ye Ishq Ishq Hai Ishq Ishq, Ye Ishq Ishq Hai Ishq Ishq
Mazhab-E-Ishq Ki Har Rasm Kadi Hoti Hai,
Har Kadam Par Koi Deewaar Khadi Hoti Hai
Ishq Aazad Hai, Hindu Na Musalmaan Hai Ishq,
Aap Hi Dharm Hai Aur Aap Hi Imaan Hai Ishq
Jis Se Aagaah Nahi Shekh-O-Barahammann Dono,
Us Haqeeqat Ka Garajtaa Hua Ailaan Hai Ishq
Ishq Na Puchhe Deen Dharm Nu, Ishq Na Puchhe Jaataan
Ishq De Haathon Garam Lahu Vich, Doobiyaan Lakh Baraataan Ke
Ye Ishq Ishq Hai Ishq Ishq, Ye Ishq Ishq Hai Ishq Ishq
Raah Ulfat Ki Kathin Hai Ise Aasaan Na Samajh
Ye Ishq Ishq Hai Ishq Ishq, Ye Ishq Ishq Hai Ishq Ishq
Bahut Kathin Hai Dagar Panghat Ki
Ab Kya Bhar Laun Maein Jamuna Se Matki
Maein Jo Chali Jal Jamuna Bharan Ko
Dekho Sakhi Ji Maein Jo Chali Jal Jamuna Bharan Ko
Nandkishor Mohe Roke Jhaadon To
Kya Bhar Laun Maein Jamuna Se Matki
Ab Laaj Raakho More Ghoonghat Pat Ki
Jab Jab Krishn Ki Bansi Baaji, Nikali Raadha Saj Ke
Jaan Ajaan Ka Maan Bhula Ke, Lok Laaj Ko Taj Ke
Janak Dulaari Ban Ban Doli, Pahan Ke Prem Ki Maala
Darshan Jal Ki Pyaasi Meera Pi Gai Vishh Ka Pyaala
Aur Phir Araj Kari Ke
Laaj Raakho Raakho Raakho, Laaj Raakho Dekho Dekho,
Ye Ishq Ishq Hai Ishq Ishq, Ye Ishq Ishq Hai Ishq Ishq
Allah Rasool Ka Farmaan Ishq Hai
Yaane Hafeez Ishq Hai, Quraan Ishq Hai
Gautam Kaa Aur Maseeh Ka Armaan Ishq Hai
Ye Kaaynaat Jism Hai Aur Jaan Ishq Hai
Ishq Sarmad, Ishq Hi Mansoor Hai
Ishq Moosa, Ishq Koh-E-Noor Hai
Khaaq Ko But, Aur But Ko Devta Karta Hai Ishq
Intaha Ye Hai Ke Bande Ko Khuda Karta Hai Ishq
Haan Ishq Ishq Tera Ishq Ishq
Tera Ishq Ishq, Ishq Ishq
This is a song 'Little Bird' by Eels. Came across this on Stereomood a few days back and enjoyed it thoroughly.
Little bird
Hoppin' on my porch
I know it sounds kinda sad
But what's it all for?
Right now you're the only friend I have in the world
And I just can't take out very much
Goddamn
I miss that girl
Little bird
You look all right
I'm sure it's not easy
Gettin' through your night
So tell me this can't be how it's gonna end
Tell me my heart
Somehow
Dear God
Is gonna mend
Little bird
I guess you're right
Can't let her take me out
Without a fight
But right now I can't see making sense of this world
I just can't take out very much
Goddamn
I miss that girl
She don't like to hear me sing
She don't want no diamond ring
She don't want to drive my car
She won't let me go that far
She don't like the way I look
She don't like the things I cook
She don't like the way I play
She don't like the things I say
But oh the games we play
She's too good for me
She's too good for me
She don't like the jokes I make
She don't like the drugs I take
She don't like the friends I got
She don't like my friends a lot
She don't like the clothes I wear
She don't like the way I stare
She don't like the tales I tell
She don't like the way I smell
But oh the game we play
She's too good for me
She's too good for me
Would she prefer it if I washed myself more often than I do
Would she prefer it if I took her to an opera or two
I could distort myself to be the perfect man
She might prefer me as I am
She don't want to meet my folks
She don't want to hear my jokes
She don't want to fix my tie
She don't even want to try
She don't like the books I read
She don't like the way I feed
She don't want to save my life
She don't want to be my wife
But oh the games we play
She's too good for me
She's too good for me
Its amazing that some people never understood the hard work put into the debut of the fantastic music video (The Chinese Duo for World Peace) launched on this blog last week.
Here are a few behind the scene videos of this sensational International phenomena, hope this will clear the air on some usual misconceptions.
This is the grand debut of two extremely talented but reclusive performers, who let their music and gestures speak more, unlike many others. They have come out for the first time with world peace as the central theme of this composition.
They are known well in the underground music scene as the 'Chinese Duo', and with this debut they are set to capture the popular imagination as well. This composition is set to debut on the No. 1 spot with its worldwide release next week.
The music is primarily Chinese and has come with years of hard work on both the music as well as the intricate and delicate gestures, which amply the soothing effect of this melody.
Further updates to follow on their success and more daring compositions. And who knows, one day I may even manage a personal interview with the reclusive pair.
Saw this really interesting movie recently which had this beautiful song, reminded me of someone due to the moon connection. A couple of very beautiful screen shots too are here.
This song was used in the movie and I quite liked it; sharing it here...
You ask me how deep my love for you is,
How much I really love you…
My affection is real.
My love is real.
The moon represents my heart.
You ask me how deep my love for you is,
How much I really love you…
My affection does not waver,
My love will not change.
The moon represents my heart.
Just one soft kiss
is enough to move my heart.
A period of time when our affection was deep,
Has made me miss you until now.
You ask me how deep my love for you is,
How much I really love you.
Go think about it.
Go and have a look [at the moon],
The moon represents my heart.
This was written by Teresa Teng, an extremely popular Chinese singer, originally hailing from Taiwan. To date she currently holds the record of being the highest selling Asian artist of all time with sales of over 100 million copies.
The video is for Muzayun, the only one I know who completely loves and worships moon (apart from all the Majnus, poets and astronauts). The score here is the original Chinese song...
There is little original on my blog of late, and even this is also a borrowed one. A song which is very dear to me. I guess many of us can relate to these words, simple but intense.
You must remember this
A kiss is just a kiss, a sigh is just a sigh.
The fundamental things apply
As time goes by.
And when two lovers woo
They still say, "I love you."
On that you can rely
No matter what the future brings
As time goes by.
Moonlight and love songs
Never out of date.
Hearts full of passion
Jealousy and hate.
Woman needs man
And man must have his mate
That no one can deny.
It's still the same old story
A fight for love and glory
A case of do or die.
The world will always welcome lovers
As time goes by.
Oh yes, the world will always welcome lovers
As time goes by.
It was written by Herman Hupfeld in 1931 and was later used again in the movie, Casablanca in 1942. The version here is the one used in the movie.
Its a movie I saw as a kid and loved it even then, despite it being a super flop! And today I came across the name somewhere and it revived all those memories. I also used to dream about something like this...falling hopelessly for a dangerous seductive woman and all the action-adventure-thrill that follows!
It was only much later that I got to know that it was a remake of a Hollywood flick 'Body Double'. I guess it was a daring debut film for Ashutosh Gowarikar, and the movie was far better than his latest 'What's your Rashi?'. It had a weird star cast too - Deepak Tijori (his first movie as a male lead), Raveena Tandon (looking hot in all her saari dances) and Pooja Bhatt.
Maybe I would get a CD for this one and see it again. Who knows what would happen then...
Ley gayi dil mera manchali,
khalibali khalibali, khalibali khalibali...
I have always enjoyed Navratri in Gujarat, albeit from a distance. A few times, that I actually got into the field, the disasters (one of them included punching a big fat aunty on her face in Baroda) convinced me that I was not meant for this graceful dancing style.
Pardesia, yeh sach hai piya...
Log kehte hain maine...tujhko dil de diya...
The singers here today are actually good, and music loud and jarring. But I can still enjoy the festivity in the air.
Pari hoon main, mujhe naa choona...
While in school, most garbas (Arkee, United Way, Vaccine) were places to see pretty girls. The first year I visited with my parents, but next year onwards it was only with friends. I would hook onto one girl I liked the best, and would continue looking at her. She would come in front once every round...those were the days...
Khaike paan banaras waala, khul jaaye band akal ka taala...
Garbas in NID were a different affair, I ended up avoiding most of them. I especially remember the garba in first year when I visited only once on the last day for the pooja.
Brazeeeel....(this was actually pure fusion as the words after this were completely in Gujarati)!
I thought I was a purist as far as music is concerned. But I am quite in favour of fusion now. The fusion one hears during Navratri is both innovative as well as entertaining.
Darvesh is derived from the word Dar which means 'the door' in Persian, hence a Darvesh is the one 'who opens the door'.
Rumi has said in reference to Sema, "For them it is the Sema of this world and the other. Even more for the circle of dancers within the Sema Who turn and have in their midst, their own Ka'aba." and what he is saying is that when, like in Mecca you have come closer to God, likewise when you perform Sema you are also closer to God.
The Sema was practised in the semahane (ritual hall) according to a precisely prescribed symbolic ritual with the dervishes whirling in a circle around their sheikh, who is the only one circling around his axis. The Sema is performed by spinning on the right foot. [3] The dervishes wear a white gown (symbol of death), a wide black cloak (hirka) (symbol of the grave) and a high brown cap (kûlah), symbol of the tombstone.
Sema ceremonies are broken up into four parts which all have their own important meanings.
Naat and Taksim - Naat is the beginning of the ceremony where they sing praise for the Prophet Mohammed. The first part is finished with Taksim or the playing of the reed flute which symbolizes our separation from God.
Devr-i Veled - Devr-i Veled is when the dervishes bow to each other. The bow is said to represent the acknowledgement of the Divine breath which has been breathed into all of us. After all the dervishes have done this they kneel and recite a short dhikr before removing their black cloaks.
The Four Selams - The Four Selams are the central part of Sema. The semazen, or the whirling dirvishes, are representative of the moon and they spin on the outside of the Sheikh who is representative of the sun. They, as previously mentioned, spin on their right foot and additionally, they have their right palm facing upwards towards Heaven and their left hand pointing at the ground. The four selams themselves are representative of the spiritual journey that every believer goes through. The first one is representative of recognition of God, the second one is recognition of the existence in his unity, the third one represents the ecstacy one experiences with total surrender, and the fourth one, where the Sheikh joins in the dance, is symbolic of peace of the heart due to Divine unity. After the four selams, this part of the ceremony is concluded with another Taksim.
Concluding Prayer - The fourth part of the ceremony is a recitation from the Holy Qu'ran and a prayer by the Sheikh and then the Sema is complete.
The only live performance I've seen was last year at the Sarkhej Roza. It was beautiful, but I saw it just like a performance. Wonder if I would ever be able to actually experience the trance...
