Friday, December 16, 2011

Happy Birthday!

I didn't hear you as I sat with my back against the painted walls of the shrine. The men played their music, different pitches intermixing, different voices creating absolute, sublime magic, their music divine. I remained numb to it all, numb to your presence, even when you perhaps called out to me constantly, asking for my love, asking for life.

The words filled my ears, echoed in my soul, yet I remained indifferent. I had to make a choice that day and I didn't know how. I always believed in Him, but my faith was already wavering. The soothing words, the smiling faces, the beautiful red roses strewn all around, they all spoke to me, all asked me to listen to your calls; I remained deaf, didn't hear anything. The void within was shallow, and it didn't allow me to hear anything, to feel anything.

I walked around looking for a sign, looking for your guidance, looking for an answer. It was all around me to see, but I remained blind, never saw anything. I saw a young woman playing with her young kids, yet I missed out on their smiles, and their laughter. I saw grown ups with their old parents, yet I missed out on the love between them. I looked past them all, and I made my choice.

Hours later as I woke up alone in the cold hospital room, I felt an acute emptiness within. It was your absence that made me realise how your presence had become inseparable from my existence. As tears flooded out, I was blinded by your thoughts, and my love for you.

You would have been four today,
To you my baby, Happy Birthday!

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  1. Thanx sid..i really liked it...:)n yes keep bloggin...

  2. Wow...amazingly well articulated feelings and thoughts...

    the parts where you describe missing out on the simple joys and smiles because of the hollow within is almost heart wrenching!

    and the closing paragraph was like poetry in prose!

  3. This post put a huge smile on my face. I wonder why.

  4. ^Ditto.
    The last two lines.. Ditto.

    Loved it.

  5. Nice post Sid. Very poetic and abstract.

  6. you always manage to touch the deepest parts of the heart :D
    That was beautiful

  7. Its amazing that how simply you manage to portray the feelings and thoughts, so touching and poetic..
    as always loved this one too. :)
    And sid we will miss u too in ofz.

  8. I hear a sad sad Song in your poetic and sensitive words...and the portait...It´s Stunning!

  9. Very good! :-)
    And your words are just stunning!
    Wow! :-)

    Best regards!

  10. @vishakha: Thanks da, I am glad you liked you story :)

    @Suruchi: Thank you so much, I am glad you liked the post. It was kind of not so easy for me to write...

    @Crystal: I also wonder why :)

  11. @nil: :)

    @DarkKnight: Thanks buddy :)

    @RedHanded: Thanks a lot :)

  12. @Bijoy: Thanks yaar, its always nice to hear from you here :) I will too miss you all...

    @Gertie: I agree, sad was the feeling I had when I thought of glad you liked it!

    @Inger-Lise: Thank you so much :)

  13. You write like an artist - you sketch with words....the emotions etched out with deft strokes.

  14. hey.. first time reader and i must say it was an amazing experience reading it. beautiful. especially the last line. beautiful!

  15. Nothing more to comment: JUST SUPERB

    village girl

  16. hmm...i ha8 it out during dinner 2day :D

  17. "It was your absence that made me realise how your presence had become inseparable from my existence. "

    its all upon the choices we make in our life..the cause and effect are all its progeny.
    nice read , mundane to say though:D

  18. Really really really intense and wonderful! lovely twist..!

  19. Just came across this. Touched some chord inside.

    Thank you...

    i always feel when i read something which I would have wanted to say..i feel grateful.

    So, thank you :)

  20. Thanks everyone for such great feedback. Its was a story I was attempting to write for a while, and to be frank its still developing...yet had to write something and take it out of my head for a while...

    Thanks you everyone once more...

  21. Really sad...

  22. I found your blog through instagram today and m reading it since past 2-3 hrs...was alrdy a big fan of your photography and now a big fan of your blog too! There's still a lot left to explore here..but js loved this one.very touching!!


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