ghosts of my god...

The sound of the bell kept playing in my head hours after the aarti got over. It wasn't the first time either, and I knew this won't even be the last. It made me restless. It never let me sleep, made me an insomniac. As I lay wide awake, staring at the fan, the bells kept ringing inside, ready to break out. It went on and on and on, filling every bit of my existence, every bit of space inside me. I screamed, but the bells silenced me once again, never letting my voice out.

I heard them every morning, every evening. Every time I opened my eyes, ever so briefly and looked at the swarm of pious visitors, they watered with pity. I wanted to tell them to go away, to not prostate here. No one lived here, but me. But they kept coming, over and over again, day after day, year after year. Some had been coming here for as long as I lived. But they needed to be stopped, they needed to be told that it was just four walls here; just dead walls, just an empty space, a place with no soul.

I kept thinking this, day after day, a few years after the bells started chasing me. I begged for redemption for my lack of faith, and my little faith failed me again. Giving up on my self and my god, I carried on with life. Maybe I will carry on for years to come, maybe I will scream out loud and close the doors of this space forever. Maybe I will become a believer once again...

For now, I live with my ghosts, with the bells chasing me everywhere...

Happy couple, eh!

The day has already started and I am already in office and already developing the concept shortlisted yesterday. But no, the post is not as lame as the first line here.

Its not common for me to come alone to office at this time, but today I did. And as I enjoyed the tea-sutta at the little tea stall, I saw something which made me happy and I actually smile on my own :)

There was terrific early morning light on Vikram (chai wala kid) and I was already missing my camera. While I attempted (quite unsuccessfully) to make rings of smoke, a middle aged couple came on their Kinetic Honda and asked for chai. Nothing usual about it I guess, but there was this intense chemistry between them as they waited for the tea, and I could feel the romance still alive between them. The guy actually took his clean white handkerchief and cleaned the glasses before Vikram could pour chai in them. I was elated!

We've (me, friends) been discussing how so many married couples we know do not look happy in each other's company and how life becomes mumdane and boring within an year of getting married. This couple kind of broke the perception; perhaps such love is much rarer, but it does exist :)

p.s. these two might not be a couple, and might just be out for tea after their first one-night-stand! In any case, I was happy to see them happy :)

The Little Boy and his Magic

'Do you want to see some magic', he asked, his bright big eyes ripe with anticipation.

We passed the cigarette between us and continued discussing what should be the new strategy forward for the company, completely oblivious to the presence of the little boy almost pleading with us.

'I will show you good magic, only Rupees five', he pressed again even as S dismissed him with a wave of his hand. All this while we avoided making any eye contact with him; looking at him would not be as easy as it was to pretend that he wasn't present there and so needed no intervention from our side.

'Sir, my magic is good, only Rupees five. I am hungry', he said, looked at us still engrossed in our conversation and hiding behind the cloud of smoke. He moved on to another guy sitting on a scooter, who angrily scared the little kid away before he could even tell him how good his magic was.

I forgot all about him, till he came back again in my dreams and asked for money in exchange of some great magic so he could eat some food. I don't remember anymore if I agreed.