Tuesday, September 27, 2011

In love with the rains

The broken bits of music wafted into the kitchen early Sunday morning as Nandini read the morning paper, waiting patiently for the coffee to get ready. She tapped her feet to it, filling up the broken bits as the radio coughed and skipped parts of the raga. She didn't mind, she knew the piece well and sang along with her mother's honey-like voice, never looking up, engrossed constantly in the paper.


By the time the sound of steam escaped the coffee maker, the sky was dark and it had started to rain. The radio was playing well now, the music was inter-spread with the sound of falling water, some hitting the mud outside the house and making a thumping sound, some screaming in joy as they clashed with the tin roof of the garage, while the rest found other homes and made numerous other sounds. The wind chime joined in soon, as the cold wind from the river found a path towards the land. It was all a beautiful melody together, unusual sounds mixing - Nandini, her now deceased mother, the rains, the wind, the chimes.

With the cup of coffee ready she walked into the study, looking for Manoj. She followed the music, still swaying to its beauty, her mind constantly humming the tune, her heart playing along and egging her on for some mischief. Manoj was already dozing off with the book half open and a half smoked cigarette kept in the ashtray, small wisps of smoke still escaping from its half lit end. He was trying to quit and smoking only half a cigarette was the latest in his list of efforts.

She took a small puff from the almost dying cigarette and let it work on her. Slowly dipping her finger into the hot-sweet cup of coffee she let her finger slowly spread it over his lips and week-long beard, her other hand played with his hair. His nap broken, he opened his eyes slowly and smiled as she sat on his lap and struggled with his already haphazardly worn mundu.

It was over within seconds, as her body erupted into spasms of ecstasy, while he held her tightly. The coffee was lukewarm as they enjoyed it together lying on the floor, still looking mischievously into each others eyes, the mundu entwined with their bodies, even as Nandini's mother reached her own crescendo and the piece finally ended.

Image ref - www.corbis.com

54 comments:

  1. Rain, coffee and some heat! Zulm dha dete ho yaar :D

    (_)@ I need a coffee now!

    Cheers,
    Chintan

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  2. Thanks Chintan :) And the comment was damn quick :)

    BTW even I need coffee, my cup is unfortunately missing :(

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  3. the description made it come alive...rain often besets you with mischief ;), more so if its topped with other things :D .
    nice post!

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  4. sidd that was wooo....u knw na wht m I trying to convey....hahahahah

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  5. enjoying the rain with a hot cup of coffee on a sunday (any day) morning, i luvd doin it on my days at home... miss dose damm things man.. (exept enjoyin the coffee while lyin n te floor ;) )

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  6. The background music can be "kausalya supraja.."..awesome mood in the lines..good job sid..

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  7. Not fair sire not fair!
    I thought i could do justice when i write about sexy stuffs but no your words create pictures which reel through my mind.
    That was beautiful...
    Also the part of the Music of rain and a woman singing in a sweet voice, made me miss my mother. States away from her, alone. Nostalgic!

    But still that was hot!

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  8. @Stuti: Thank you :) and I agree rains can do amazing things to thoughts sometimes...

    @Vishakha: Are you looking for the word 'Incredible' :) :) :)

    @Bijoy: Thanks man, I was trying to be in Kerala as I was writing this...and was imagining it all...

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  9. @Manoj: Thanks buddy, the music fits perfectly...just awesome!

    @RedHanded: Thanks a lot! And I agree you do full complete justice to sexy stuff :) The music MAG suggested fits in perfectly with the mood I was trying to develop...kausalya supraja in MS Subbulakshmi's voice...

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  10. Great piece. Very nice mood. But you can't resist the bang bang eh? Just a story of rain, Nandini and her mother's voice would have been excellent. But no. Some smoked out loser has to be there! Ah Nandini, your choice in men!

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  11. in that case, i would say u have got the mood very precisely.Good one sid. :)

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  12. nice one... :) had seen you cup with the new guy sitting opp to Kishor. :D

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  13. OH MAN! Cigarettes, rains, music. Love loved the flow. :)
    You got a follower.

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  14. @Anonymous (i.e. Salil): Haha...he is not a smoked out loser, but the man of Nandini's dreams and of course her source for pleasure :) She has excellent choice in men!

    @Bijoy: Thanks again man, helps when you have so many friends from Kerala around!

    @Ashish: Thanks buddy!

    @Crystal: Thanks a lot, am glad you enjoyed it :)

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  15. Kausalya Supraya !!!! Plays every morning at my home :( There you go again!

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  16. I was visualizing it, it's a perfect piece for a novel. :) Just want to say, love your posts as you give life to words...

    Saru

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  17. It has to be said that the coffee wasn't the only steaming thing.

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  18. Nice one.. the atmosphere is set.. music too.. romance displayed..all of these in just few sentences..!

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  19. @RedHanded: :)

    @Saru: Thanks a lot :) And a novel...I wonder if I can ever visualize intensely for so long...

    @Petty: haha...I hope so too :)

    @KP: Thank you :)

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  20. This is what sets you apart...you don't tell a story you make your readers feel it.

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  21. Loved it. You know what they say about women and the rain? Sounds like the perfect rainy day to me, sex, coffee & a cigarette.

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  22. @ Purba: It's damn nice of you to say that :) Thank you, thank you!

    @JV: Absolutely...its always such a potent combination :) Thank you!

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  23. Beautiful man...the writing is so vivid and clear. Its more like a perfect combination of images...I like the subtle ways everything was said..that is my kind of writing..I guess...I would check out some more works from you..Thanks a lot!

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  24. Damn romantic and the rainy mood is so vividly portrayed that I could almost feel the coolness of the atmosphere...and ofcourse the hot stuff really accentuated the entire feeling...wonderful post:-)

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  25. @Kunal: Thanks a lot buddy, am glad you enjoyed it :) I did try to keep it subtle, otherwise it can go absolutely horribly wrong!

    @Nasnin: Thanks a lot, I really like your comments :)

    @FrancescPhoto: Thank you :)

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  26. rain and coffee...i was so much into it that i went to the window watching out for the rain but there is not any here :(

    nice work :)

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  27. Thanks Israr, rains are over here as well...the memories linger on...

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  28. sid: THAT was mesmerising...this was such a beautiful post! you making me fall in love...like they say in french simplement magnifique....i read it twice and may be third time...

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  29. Ah! French Shruti! I can see you learning quite a bit of French in Pondicherry :)

    Thanks for the comment :)

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  30. I love rain.
    I like to dance in rain.

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  31. i want long drive in rain with my friends

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  32. @SEO: Absolutely...rains are truly amazing :)

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  33. I had a HUGE smile on my face after i was done reading this post!

    :)

    nice one.

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  34. That's amazing Express, usually people don't associate me with bringing smiles on their faces :) I am happy that the post could do that to u :)

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  35. The following is my attempt towards constructive criticism for this story. Unfortunately, I could not separate my opinion out of it:

    I love the imagery in this work. But it's too "out there", you know? When you say "some screaming in joy" it feels deliberate. You gave life to the drops of water only for that phrase.

    Imagery should be an integral part of the story (and you've done a great job mixing coffee, rains, ragas and lovemaking), but it should not feel forced, you know? It should come naturally in the flow of the story.

    Also, I'm not sure if this was your intention, but involving Nandini's mother in the climax got a double take out of me. I get that you wanted to combine everyone's climax together, but the mother was mentioned only once earlier in the story and it's easy to miss her.

    Loved the idea, though, and I love the flow in the story, especially how sudden the climax is. Plus the atmosphere you've created is awesome!

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  36. Thanks Alok for the first constructive criticism to the post, and I really appreciate everything you said.

    As for Nandini's mom, I had always imagined her around throughout the story. She is the only sound in the story, apart from the sound of the rain falling and her climax with her daughter was certainly intentional. In fact you are only the second person to have mentioned it...

    Your feedback tells me that I need to work much more on the story offline before taking it out for feedback :) Thanks again buddy!

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  37. nice write up... i love the flow and the detail of every action.. hot.

    *following you now.

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  38. @Sergio: Thanks but I didn't actually take the picture ;)

    @Kharren: Thank you! I am glad you liked it :)

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  39. Hi Siddharth...you are tagged here...a small token of appreciation from me...please do accept it...http://wwwscribblings.blogspot.com/2011/10/versatile-blogger-award-my-picks.html...:-)

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  40. Wow. Excellent. I loved it. So many images in my head. All lovely, subtle and enchanting..

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  41. @Nasnin: Thanks a lot...am glad that you like the blog :)

    p.s. of course I accept it :)

    @Zeba: Great to see your comment here :) I am happy that you enjoyed the little post...

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  42. Update update! Update, mister. :D

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  43. a blog award for you :)

    http://readmeatblogpage.blogspot.com/2011/10/blog-award.html

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  44. @Crystal: I am surely working on it, been too busy with work of late :)

    @Stuti: Thank you :)

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  45. whoa ..this is hopelessly romantic :D coffee and rain..Love both

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  46. @theothersideofme: Thanks, coffee and rain are also very inspirational...easier to write with these as part of the story...

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  47. Thanks Le garçon avec les lunettes (what's your name, again?) :)

    I just went through your blog and I think your work rocks! Some awesome stuff there :)

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  48. This was one of the best rain steam :P .. i have ever read ..awesomeeee

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  49. @Menachery: Thanks, glad you enjoyed it :)

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  50. Nothing like a nice hot cup of coffee on a rainy day! The way you described it was great.

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  51. Thanks Dark Knight, and I agree...nothing like a cup of hot coffee on a rainy day ;)

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