W and M are on a phone call. After discussing the very distinct possibility of an alien spaceship visiting their respective cities, they get on with the other topics. Surprisingly food comes up for discussion.
W: Let's eat the same food together.
M: Superb idea. What do you want to make? I am game for anything.
W: Hmmm...
M: We can make daal and rice and eat it with salad.
W: eeeeeeeee...
M: Oh am really sorry :(
W: I can't eat all this in life anymore :(
M: Sure sure. Lets make khichdi.
W: eeeeeeeee...
M: Oh am really sorry :(
W: I can't eat all this in life anymore :(
M: Ok lets make something continental. Pasta?
W: But I do not have pasta with me.
M: Hmmm...
W: I have a better idea.
M: Ah...
W: Lets not eat.
M: What??? Why???
W: I think you eat too much food.
M: What???
W: Yes, I want you to starve.
M: What???
W: Yes. And if you really hungry you can drink a cup of chai, preferably with no sugar.
M: What??? Please don't do this to me :|
W: Shut up. You will do exactly as I say.
M: Please dear. Have some heart.
W: Now I have to finish my very interesting book now, the cat is almost ready to devour the dog. Drink tea, if you really have to. Now goodbye.
M realises that the call is already over. He looks blankly at the phone and a smile crosses his face. He goes and makes Maggi and savors it with black, strong and sugar saturated coffee.
Moral of the story: There are advantages of a long-distance relationship. You DON'T have to starve every single night.
Showing posts with label WnM. Show all posts
Showing posts with label WnM. Show all posts
Tuesday, October 5, 2010
Tuesday, August 17, 2010
WnM - movies
W and M are talking on the phone. M, as usual, is going for a movie and getting late. W, as usual, isn't impressed with what M does to entertain himself.
W: What are you doing?
M: I am going for a movie?
W: What? Movie? Again? Didn't you see one last week also? I just don't believe this!!!
M: Huh!
W: I hate this!
M: Huh!
W: And I hate you!
M: Huh!
W: What movie is this?
M: Its a Hindi movie.
W: AND I am sure it has a name!!!
M: Its called...err... 'Teri Jawani, Meri Mohabbat'.
W: WHAT? Why are you doing this to yourself? Please M...I can't live like this. I need someone who sees no movies, certainly not Hindi movies!!!
M: Huh!
W: I need a break-up!
M: Huh!
W: RIGHT NOW!
M: Honey its already movie time, and did I tell you that it has my favorite actress Jamuna playing the lead.
After a pause.
M: And we can have a break-up the next time we meet. This will also give you enough time to purchase me a nice break-up present.
W starts sobbing, and then the dam breaks and she starts crying, followed by some serious howling. Suddenly M remembers that he must have made a blunder somewhere in the conversation and tries to rewind it all back in his mind. He finds nothing wrong in his replies. But his past experience tells him that its time for sorry and missing the first half of the movie.
Reluctantly he walks away from his friends who all give him sympathetic glances and nods. M misses Jamuna on big screen. AGAIN.
Moral of the story: Never reveal the name of the one who fires your dreams and imaginations to your girl friend. And if possible DO NOT watch any Hindi movies either.
W: What are you doing?
M: I am going for a movie?
W: What? Movie? Again? Didn't you see one last week also? I just don't believe this!!!
M: Huh!
W: I hate this!
M: Huh!
W: And I hate you!
M: Huh!
W: What movie is this?
M: Its a Hindi movie.
W: AND I am sure it has a name!!!
M: Its called...err... 'Teri Jawani, Meri Mohabbat'.
W: WHAT? Why are you doing this to yourself? Please M...I can't live like this. I need someone who sees no movies, certainly not Hindi movies!!!
M: Huh!
W: I need a break-up!
M: Huh!
W: RIGHT NOW!
M: Honey its already movie time, and did I tell you that it has my favorite actress Jamuna playing the lead.
After a pause.
M: And we can have a break-up the next time we meet. This will also give you enough time to purchase me a nice break-up present.
W starts sobbing, and then the dam breaks and she starts crying, followed by some serious howling. Suddenly M remembers that he must have made a blunder somewhere in the conversation and tries to rewind it all back in his mind. He finds nothing wrong in his replies. But his past experience tells him that its time for sorry and missing the first half of the movie.
Reluctantly he walks away from his friends who all give him sympathetic glances and nods. M misses Jamuna on big screen. AGAIN.
Moral of the story: Never reveal the name of the one who fires your dreams and imaginations to your girl friend. And if possible DO NOT watch any Hindi movies either.
Monday, July 5, 2010
WnM - jewelry purchase
W and M have gone out shopping, due to some constraints at home.
W wants to buy ear-studs from an old mini-shop. M needs to stand by her.
W: I am telling you bhaiya, the diamond (of course fake) will come off very soon.
Shopkeeper: No madam, I am telling you this will not come off.
W: But I am telling you that this will surely come off.
W looks at M for support. M immediately comes to her defense.
M: Yes bhaiya, this will surely come off.
Shopkeeper: No madam, this won't come off.
Shopkeeper completely ignores M, M feels dejected and looks around at a pissing cow.
W: Show me some more designs. Something in gold.
W and shopkeeper discuss designs, weather, and prices. Soon M goes back to her initial apprehensions.
W: But bhaiya, I know the diamond will come off.
Shopkeeper: No madam, my guarantee this won't come off.
W: I know!!! You think I have grown this old without knowing anything.
Shopkeeper: Trust me madam, even after six months if this comes off, I will come and replace it for you.
W: So you also think this might come off then?
Shopkeeper: No madam, this will never come off.
W: Are you sure?
Shopkeeper: Yes madam, this is my promise.
W and Shopkeeper start looking at a few more designs, discussing designs that all look the same. M is wondering if more animals will come and shit/ piss/ make faces/ eat newspapers. W is now ready to pay the money, but she has one last question.
W: Bhaiya are you sure, this won't come off?
Shopkeeper: Yes madam, I am very sure.
W: But my experience says otherwise. I am not sure.
At this point the studs are already in her ears, and has even paid the money.
Shopkeeper: I already told you, I am just a phone call away.
W: True, but I have always seen these diamonds falling off soon after the purchase.
Shopkeeper: No madam, not the ones I sell.
W: Are you really sure?
Shopkeeper: Yes madam.
M is already pulling out his hair, though only in his head.
Moral of the story: DO NOT accompany W for shopping, especially when the aim is to buy jewelery!
OR
Make sure you take her out shopping on a day when the mood swings are extreme, and let the shopkeeper take the impact!
W wants to buy ear-studs from an old mini-shop. M needs to stand by her.
W: I am telling you bhaiya, the diamond (of course fake) will come off very soon.
Shopkeeper: No madam, I am telling you this will not come off.
W: But I am telling you that this will surely come off.
W looks at M for support. M immediately comes to her defense.
M: Yes bhaiya, this will surely come off.
Shopkeeper: No madam, this won't come off.
Shopkeeper completely ignores M, M feels dejected and looks around at a pissing cow.
W: Show me some more designs. Something in gold.
W and shopkeeper discuss designs, weather, and prices. Soon M goes back to her initial apprehensions.
W: But bhaiya, I know the diamond will come off.
Shopkeeper: No madam, my guarantee this won't come off.
W: I know!!! You think I have grown this old without knowing anything.
Shopkeeper: Trust me madam, even after six months if this comes off, I will come and replace it for you.
W: So you also think this might come off then?
Shopkeeper: No madam, this will never come off.
W: Are you sure?
Shopkeeper: Yes madam, this is my promise.
W and Shopkeeper start looking at a few more designs, discussing designs that all look the same. M is wondering if more animals will come and shit/ piss/ make faces/ eat newspapers. W is now ready to pay the money, but she has one last question.
W: Bhaiya are you sure, this won't come off?
Shopkeeper: Yes madam, I am very sure.
W: But my experience says otherwise. I am not sure.
At this point the studs are already in her ears, and has even paid the money.
Shopkeeper: I already told you, I am just a phone call away.
W: True, but I have always seen these diamonds falling off soon after the purchase.
Shopkeeper: No madam, not the ones I sell.
W: Are you really sure?
Shopkeeper: Yes madam.
M is already pulling out his hair, though only in his head.
Moral of the story: DO NOT accompany W for shopping, especially when the aim is to buy jewelery!
OR
Make sure you take her out shopping on a day when the mood swings are extreme, and let the shopkeeper take the impact!
Thursday, July 1, 2010
WnM - shoes
W: We need to go shopping today, I have a gift voucher for Rs. 100
M: Oh!
W: I can buy some footwear.
M: Oh!
W: Its a shop I love. And you don't have a choice.
M: Oh!
After a pause.
M: You mean hawai-chappals ala Bata chappals?
W: Are you mad? I was thinking of buying some cool chic footwear, something cheap and within 1K as the voucher amount isn't exactly huge.
M look around at least about 10 pairs of sandals, chappals, shoes and wonders why!
M: But you surely don't need another pair right away?
W glares, M backs off. Sweat is building on M's forehead. And the wind has stopped blowing. M is regretting everything he said.
W: You don't even know what I need now! So much for knowing me and caring for me. I want a black one with heels!!!
M looks around at three pairs which fit the exact description, including one bought from the same shop a few months back. M decides to remain silent. Smart.
M: I think its an awesome idea honey.
At this point W leans over suggestively over M, M thanks Cosmopolitan!
Moral of the story: Read women's magazines for disaster management tips.
M: Oh!
W: I can buy some footwear.
M: Oh!
W: Its a shop I love. And you don't have a choice.
M: Oh!
After a pause.
M: You mean hawai-chappals ala Bata chappals?
W: Are you mad? I was thinking of buying some cool chic footwear, something cheap and within 1K as the voucher amount isn't exactly huge.
M look around at least about 10 pairs of sandals, chappals, shoes and wonders why!
M: But you surely don't need another pair right away?
W glares, M backs off. Sweat is building on M's forehead. And the wind has stopped blowing. M is regretting everything he said.
W: You don't even know what I need now! So much for knowing me and caring for me. I want a black one with heels!!!
M looks around at three pairs which fit the exact description, including one bought from the same shop a few months back. M decides to remain silent. Smart.
M: I think its an awesome idea honey.
At this point W leans over suggestively over M, M thanks Cosmopolitan!
Moral of the story: Read women's magazines for disaster management tips.
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