Sunday, March 6, 2011

To make a Kashmiri smile :)

I make some people smile, that’s already an achievement for me. Rarely people find me funny, unless they are very close to me.  My humour generally fails to take off in groups, or with people I do not know very well. They sneer at the end of my best joke, or at best politely look bewildered and excuse themselves; this is especially true for the members of the opposite sex. To overcome my less than successful social skills, of late 

I have started studying my more successful friends, and often copy their jokes, and stupid one liners and use those to dupe people. So far even this has not worked, but I believe with practice my odd sense of humour will be less notable, and people will flock to me to hear me repeat my copied and oft repeated jokes and smart comments!

In English: 'Kashmiri' strong soda center

But this post isn’t about me. This is about Kashmir, or rather about a Kashmiri. It’s a result of hours of hard work and research, and something that I intend to take forward into a full-fledged thesis. The following lines would bust a few myths about Kashmir and in the process reveal  a few hidden truths about the famed (claimed!) land.
  1. Kashmiri women are coy (even TOI thinks so). My extensive experience says absolutely untrue. And in my opinion, it’s the lack of the wild beasts in the state is responsible for this.
  2. Kashmiri pulao isn’t sweet! Of course it is sweet, just visit any restaurant or dhabha in the neighbourhood and you shall know the truth.
  3. Kashmiri women wear colorful clothes, at times even adorning themselves with flowers. It’s a joke, they like only Black and flowers are an absolute no no (Sharmila Tagore in Kashmir ki Kali was super-fake!).
  4. Kashmiri men are bearded gorilla like creatures. On the contrary they are clean shaven, and always have trimmed hair. While I was there I looked like a gorilla, and hence sadly never fitted in.
  5. The most famous export from Kashmir is not Pashmina but Kashmiri Soda, at least in Gujarat. It pops into your glass and gives you the coolness, straight from the Himalayas.
  6. Kashmiris live in cold climate and hence can live in extreme cold. The truth is sadly different, they can shiver even on the hottest day in June, when the monsoon is already delayed by a week and earth is crying with thirst.
  7. They are simple people. They visualize themselves from weird angles, like perched on a fan and attempt sketching that I detail.
  8. They are serious people from a serious land. Hahahahaha…I laugh the most in their company, sometimes with disastrous results; especially when there is no joke, but I imagine there to be one!
So what’s the point of writing all this? I am trying to be funny here; you still do not get it??? I told you, it’s an uphill task for me to bring about a smile J


  1. I totally relate to people not getting your jokes. Married to an Aquarian and very few get his subtle sense of humour that he sneaks in with a straight face.

    Friends usually take a cue from me and start laughing.

    I went to Kashmir when I was in college and I do not have too many pleasant memories of their people. But then I have a few good Kashmiri pundit friends who migrated to Delhi post the ethnic cleansing.

  2. Hahahaha...poor husband, especially when he is married to someone like your voracious sense of humour :) But knowing a bit about Aquarians, he won't be bothered and would just enjoy your company :)

    I have had great experiences with Kashmiris as well as with Kaahmir...and future holds promise for much much more :)


Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...